Three months ago, T. Bob Tubb asked Joe Q. Public (an accountant from Des Moines) to ask the general public to submit captions for pictures found in the American Red Crucifix' Lifeguard Manual.

What were the people in these pictures thinking?! Saying?! Doing?! Sure, the captions in the manual would have you believe they were helping out ailing victims and being pleasant to their patrons.

But our captions are much more fun.