Iron Chef Bangor
a T. Bob Tubb Original
Starring:

Iron Chef Zaire:
Mopitus Adjessant
Sekshun Cheeph
Iron Chef Pizza:
Blonk Mahatsu
Gunnard Baroni
Judges:
Fdori Derry
Sudsy McPoopinthetub
Penelope Envelope
Swagger Pudd

Chief Photographer:
Walter Stemple
Innocent Bystanders:
Trixie "Frank" Twinkledust
Tohu O'Bohu
Special Ingredient:
Rum


Mopitus and Sekshun make preparations
Gunnard: Check out this ingredient!
Mopitus: I'm going to add some love to this oatmeal...
Sekshun: Oh yeah? Here's the secret ingredient!


Blonk: Check out this ingredient!
Mopitus: I can't believe they think they're going to win!
Sekshun: I like to wrestle tortoises for fun.
Gunnard: That's nothing! Our ingredient will knock your ass onto its nuts!


Mopitus: *stir, stir*
Sekshun: Honey? They'll never see this coming!
Blonk: Honey my ass! Check out this ingredient!
Mopitus: *stir, stir*
*sprinkle, sprinkle*


Mopitus: By smearing food on our faces and splashing water all over ourselves to make us look sweaty, we'll give off the impression that we've been working our little tushes off!
Sekshun: Yup, and these dishtowels tossed casually over our shoulders will show the judges we're relaxed, and confident!
Sekshun: Putting our blantantly-American dish into Japanese serving bowls was a great idea.
Mopitus: You're telling me! Now our food can be considered "ethnic."


(in rear) Blonk: Damn! These boys cooked some good shit!
Sekshun: Ooooh, I hope the judges like our delicacies.
Mopitus: Oh, I think they will. I added a whole can of chewing tobacco for that wonderfully addictive wintergreen flavor.
The Judges (L-R):
Fdori: The tart sauce is lovely.
Sudsy: The mustard tickles my sinuses and waters my eyes. Thank goodness for the toilet paper hanging in front of my face.
Penelope: The rubber cement, although tasty, irritates my gums.
Swagger: Mmmmm! The ground liver sauce is so good, I am about to vomit!


The Innocent Bystanders (L-R):
Trixie: What the hell are they eating?!
Tohu: I'm just here for the beer.
The Judges (L-R):
Fdori: The clever food arrangement alters my otherwise expressionless demeanor.
Sudsy: AGGGH! The fucking mustard again! It's burning my tongue and epiglotis!
Penelope: The searing pain only lasts for a few short minutes!


Sekshun: So?! Do you like it? Do you?!.
Mopitus: Dude, Sekshun, chill out! They're making their decision...
The Judges (L-R):
Fdori: You got a problem with me?!
Sudsy: Awww, man, I dropped my sense of good taste...
Penelope: I'm licking the genetically-altered yummy goodness off my fingers here!
Swagger: Whuddup?!


Epilogue:


Sexy Lips